Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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