did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
