i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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