I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
