I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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