I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
