She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
