Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
