I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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