Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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