Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the day after is always just damage control
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
