If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
