i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
