Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
