ugly people sure do ruin things
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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