so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
