**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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