If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
