One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
