Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
