So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
