do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
