I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
