wat bout pragnant strippers??
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
