We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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