And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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