i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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