dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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