Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
