How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
