question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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