I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
