we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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