he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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