They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
