I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
