well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
