My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
