I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
