I wish they made helmets for livers.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
