I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
