so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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