i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
