no, he came in my armpit
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm bleeding and have questions
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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