i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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