This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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