bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
