question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
