She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
