I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
