We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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