talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
